Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
