i'm signing you up for texting rehab
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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