Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
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In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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