you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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