my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
