Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We are all done wearing pants today
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
