ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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