was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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