like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
