my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
