u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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