Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
