Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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