Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
