im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
