Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
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