Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
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She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
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I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize