I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
