the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
