Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize