i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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