I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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