Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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