Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.