oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
