You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Just pee around me
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
