my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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