Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
