But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Let's get the cat blown out
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
