how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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