i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
