I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
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