You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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