update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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