he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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