I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
My liver just had a heart attack.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
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