Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dicks are not precious.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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