i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
