i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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