Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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