Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
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I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
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A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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