I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face