That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
