are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize