I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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