a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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