I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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