I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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