Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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