Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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