My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
