my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
