I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
