Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
