Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
