her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
