Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
