you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
