It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
