I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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